May every child have the company of a CTSS volunteer's letters.

The children who write to CTSS are mostly in primary school.

The youngest, in first and second grade, can't write much yet, so many of their “letters” don't look like what most of us imagine a letter to be.

A letter might be just their name, or the word “hello”, or a drawing. Some children tear a page out of their homework book and send it to us. Some write almost the same letter every time: drawing the gear from a video game again and again, or asking the same question again and again. Some swear in their letters.

Our volunteers often wonder: how do you answer a letter like that? It's a puzzle.

It feels like a puzzle because we are standing in our own shoes, wanting so badly to write a “good” reply: a near-perfect answer, words that will do the child some good, the right values.

We haven't truly seen the child who wrote. If we can step outside our own need to get it right, we will see a child waving at us, calling out at the top of their voice: “Hey, CTSS volunteer, I'm here! Right here! This is me!” They are only waiting for an answer.

Yes: each one is a life longing to be seen.

First, the big picture. According to figures released by China's Ministry of Civil Affairs at the end of August 2018, there were 6.97 million left-behind children in rural China, and 96% of them were cared for by grandparents. The 2018 White Paper on the Mental State of China's Left-Behind Children, published by the On the Road to School charity, found that 40% of left-behind children see their father or mother no more than twice a year, and about 20% are in touch with them no more than four times a year.

Then, one child. This year, a case that shocked many people: a nine-year-old left-behind girl in Zhejiang was lured away and drowned. Her grandparents told reporters afterwards, “Whoever was a little kind to her, she would stick to them.”

Emotional neglect does a child enormous harm, because neglect says: your existence means nothing to me.

For a child who is ignored and not understood, the world is grey, and any glimmer of light catches their eye. Go too long without light and they grow thorns, trying to pierce the darkness around them; or they grow armour and go numb, so they no longer feel the pain, though they can hardly feel joy either. When they are small, it may only look like insecurity, low confidence, poor grades, getting into trouble or keeping to themselves. As adults, they may find it hard to build healthy relationships or to make a living, and some turn to violence. Look around: each of us knows people carrying wounds like these.

Listening with care and answering sincerely says: I see you. I see your pain, and I see your joy. I see your fear, and I see your courage. I see your shy face, and I see the warm heart behind it. I see that you feel helpless, and I see what you long for. Your being here is beautiful and it matters. Whenever you need me, I am here with you.

When we are given company like this, it is as if a beam of light suddenly falls into a dark place, as if someone has touched our heart and it aches enough to cry. I think that is what it feels like to be loved and accepted.

Real understanding and connection between people, caring and keeping each other company: it isn't only left-behind children who need this, and not only children. All of us do.

We have been writing to the children for several years now, and we are still going. More people keep joining. We hope it goes on, and gets better, and reaches more children, because it carries a power of its own: the power of giving, which joins you and me together. The power of love.

A letter is only the thread that connects us. We sincerely hope that every child can have the company of a CTSS volunteer's letters.

Li Wei, founder of CTSS, August 2019